Where to even start

Hey there!! I’ve been in the middle of Moving Craziness since last week — we moved on Monday and Tuesday this week — so I’m feeling a bit like my life is in utter shambles, but at the same time totally happy and thrilled that we are in our new house. It just gets a little overwhelming with all the boxes and things to do. Then there’s the moment when you need a lamp, for instance, and you KNOW you labeled a box “lamps” but then you can’t find it. Anyway. Blahblah. The hardest part is figuring out where to even start with everything.

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We basically chose one of the coldest days in Michigan history to move, and our movers were almost three hours late arriving, and then they got the truck stuck in a snowbank trying to turn it around, so instead of having one moving day we had two. ACK! Haha. Oh well.

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I sewed a few things for my kids for Kids’ Clothes Week last week (knowing that this week would be inSANE), but now I have no idea when I’ll post it. Again, not a big deal. You know, all of the inconveniences of moving and having too much to do, they’re really just blessings in disguise, you know? I can’t complain. We have so much. So what if things have to go slower than expected? Big deal. It’s stressful, yes, but not a permanent problem.

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So I decided I’m going to hire a doula for the birth of this baby! I’m excited. The midwife/home-birth thing is just not in the cards for us even though that is more in line with how I think most (normal) births should happen, so I think a doula is a good way to go.Β Though Elliot and Clementine both told me yesterday that they want to “watch the baby come out”…I’m not sure they quite understand what that means. It’s not like laying an egg, you know?

OK totally random post…but hey, that’s how we roll around here.

(by the way, all of these photos appeared originally in my Instagram feed (@madebyrae), where you can also see more of what’s happening in my life, what I’m sewing, belly pics, etc).

28 thoughts on “Where to even start

  1. I had a doula with both my kids (I have one turning 8 next week and one who just turned 6, so they’re about your kids’ ages I think) and it was the best money we ever spent. She knew how to massage the right places and had this warm rice pack for my back when I was in back labor (which was the entire time) and helped communicate with the medical staff when I was incoherent with exhaustion and pain. It helped make the whole experience go as smoothly as it could. The hospital had an awesome staff but they weren’t with me every minute like my husband and the doula. (Midwives aren’t an option with our insurance.)

  2. Em always refers to birth as the baby “popping out.” Such a nice mental image and so swift, right? Anyway we hired a doula for O’s birth (but I was also able to have a midwife in a hospital) and i think a doula paired with an OB birth would be super helpful. You just need a calming woman’s voice there to tell you everything is fine, right? πŸ˜‰

    Anyway house looks great! Good luck getting settled.

  3. Happy moving day and congratulations on the baby! I think having a doula is a great idea- it never hurts to have extra, knowledgeable support. Of course my little guy was born so ridiculously fast that I’m just glad we made it to the hospital before he was born!

  4. Your attitude in this post is so inspiring! I feel uplifted just reading it. And so much less upset about the heap of partially folded laundry on my bed right now.

    Thanks!!

  5. Hope the unpacking goes well. And the birth plans too. I had my three at home, in water – and the last two births were with the same midwife, which was very special. But I’m in the UK where things are a bit different – but a doula sounds like a great idea.

    • yeah I get the idea that the UK (and a good deal of Europe) is probably a little more progressive when it comes to birth practice than the US, which seems a bit stuck in the “just get it out of me at the hospital” mindset. πŸ™‚ Sounds like you had a great experience!!

      • Their midwives are held to a higher standard (have to have a degree, regulations, accountability) and so it’s a whole different ballgame. Sounds like you have a great plan in place. I loved our doula with my second son!
        And that is so funny about the kids… maybe see how they react to a slew of youtube animal birth videos first? haha.

      • I was to make the same reply, it’s different in Europe. Here in Holland homebirthing is normal, I had a wonderful home birth with our second. After his birth regulations changed and for our third I had to fly to hospital, since the island we live on is too far away from hospital. But even then, I had a wonderful midwife, the same that attended my entire pregnancy, so it was a great experience nevertheless. But since you are moving, but not to Europe, I think a doula would be great!

  6. Oh I absolutely loved my home birth and wish everyone could have that experience but I know it’s not possible for a varying number of reasons and I have heard great things about doulas! I think I’ll definitely get one if I have to use a hospital in the future. Good luck with the unpacking!

  7. I am a doula, and (all biases aside) having a doula at your baby’s birth should really make it amazing for you (and I bet Mr. Rae will feel that way too). I had a doula at both my kids’ births, including the second one that I had at home in a birth tub. GREATEST experience ever. Anyway, I applaud your birthing decision and hope that your moving in experience goes smoothly and easily and that maybe the lamp box will magically appear. πŸ™‚

  8. i think doulas are so wonderful… and a great way to have a hospital birth. our hospital provided them with my first birth and i will never forget the gentleness and calm that my doula provided. she met my needs before i knew i had them!! all the best, rae!

  9. The house looks gorgeous! Bad timing though, but I really love your zen attitude about the whole thing. We just got a new house (!!), so we will be going through the process in a couple months too, given we sell our current house. I doubt I will be so calm about it! At least I shouldn’t have to deal with snow πŸ™‚

    Seems like a doula may be a perfect choice for you. When my sister had her baby 2 weeks ago, I was lucky enough to be there. My 8 year old begged to go with me! She wanted to see the baby come out, of course, when I told her how long it would take, she wasn’t too keen anymore. Given all the cursing my sis did in labor, probably for the best πŸ˜‰

  10. I was almost six when my sister was born, and being present for her birth (after having been very well prepared via a birthing video and a hospital tour) was an incredible experience. You know your kids. Trust your instincts.

  11. Just had to leave a comment about siblings at births. My second baby was a home birth (labor all night and born early in the morning) so my then 2yo daughter wanted to be there d she oke up just when the delivery started, so she was sitting on the couch with her morning milk next to her dad who supported me. So she heard my birth noises and saw my face while i was giving birth and she saw the baby come out. All this didn’t scare her, she was really amazed! Now afterwards when the baby was on my tummy i got the first load of meconium poo on me and that really freaked her out. But the birth, no problem. It is of course up to you, (and hospital policies) but it can be a great experience for the siblings to welcome their new baby brother… just inform them ahead of ime that there is blood, that it hurts mommy really bad but that this ok and that you may make a lot of noise. I didn’t show her a video, sometimes it can seem more intense in a video than real life.

    My daughter still aftr 1.5 years still talks about the birth sometimes.

  12. We had a doula for #2 and #3 and I cannot say enough good things about her. She was worth every penny I paid her and then some. My husband whioleheartedly agrees! She was a calming female presence but also she knew every doctor and nurse in the hospital and was amazing at running interference. She knew where to find the birthing balls, extra towels, ice chips…you know, the stuff you don’t want to jack with while in labor πŸ™‚

  13. I hope you have a great experience with a doula. I am a doula and recieved my training at the Center for the Childbearing Year there in AA. I think a doula is even more important at a hospital birth than one at home. I hope the moving craziness slows down sooner than later!

  14. I have had my kids at their siblings births and it is magical! Talk to some people who have had kids there–they will say the same thing! The kids totally get how important it is and it is an amazing experience.

    And, I hope it goes a long way towards normalizing birth for them! There are great books to prep (Hello Baby and Mom, Dad, and I are having a Baby are great–I do change some of the words on that second one.

    Think about it! I do not have calm peaceful labors, but I prepped the kids ahead of time and they were fine. It made them feel special, too!

  15. Yay for doula! There are few people I love in the deep and unique way that I love my doula. As far as compromises go, this is a good one. Lay that egg with someone great by your side (in addition to your hubs, of course).

  16. Love doulas!! Labor and births are such a hot topic, by the way. Just mention it and everyone wants to share their experience πŸ™‚ I hope you and your family have a wonderful birth experience, no matter what it may look like for you! And though it’s a controversial and complicated decision, the older kids CAN be a part of it, if that’s what y’all decide πŸ™‚ Anyways! So excited for you and can’t wait to meet the lil guy! How many more weeks now?

  17. good luck with the doula! Should make things go smoother. I wish I’d had one for my hospital birth freak show.

  18. Had an amazing doula for my first delivery. Best thing ever. And I got to watch my brother be born at home when I was 5, and have always been glad for that experience. Best of luck getting settled in your new home.

  19. We had a doula for the births of both our kids. One was with an OB, the other with a midwife – both at the hospital. My daughter (3 years, 3 months) was present when her brother was born and though she said it was “a little scary”, her grandfather held her the whole time and kept her up by my head. It was pretty special to hear her say, “I love you baby brother” just minutes after he was born. (Especially since she’d been rooting hard for a baby sister!). We did take her to a”big sister class” led by a local doula that taught kids about pregnancy, childbirth, and babies. It was pretty great. Whatever you end up deciding will be the right choice for your family. πŸ™‚

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